ChocoPro Roundup: #312, #313 & #314
Mei Gets Kicked In The Face, Best Bros Celebrate Their Birthday & Chie Has A Title Shot
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With Gatoh Move set to take a trip to the UK in August, it’s the perfect time to dip into the madness. However, not everyone has time to watch everything, so here are my picks for the essential ChocoPro matches from the last three shows.
Best Bros (Balliyan Akki & Mei Suruga) vs Shinnou Hagane & Sayaka Obihiro, ChocoPro #312 (20/5/23), Gatoh Move
In the past, I haven’t got Akki vs Hagane. It’s often felt like they were so focused on having a ‘great match’ that they lost sight of what they’re good at. Or, maybe, I’ve just been a grumpy prick because their interactions in this tag ruled.
And that was because everything they did together felt spiteful. The second they tagged in, they went hard, laying into their strikes as they kicked the shit out of each other. Hagane, in particular, made sure every boot was aimed at Akki’s head, as he seemed determined to leave as big a mark as possible. At one point, his spite even extended to Mei, wandering over to boot her in the face (she was in the corner recovering) between each strike in an exchange. Hitting Akki wasn’t enough. He needed to find as many ways as possible to hurt him.
It also seemed to push Obi and Mei to go a little harder, inspired by the violence around them. Their aggression tended to be pettier (it involved a lot more biting, for one thing), but it was still great, and they had a roll-up exchange towards the end that was genuinely incredible. It would have been easy for them to take a backseat, aware that it was all about their partners, but they’re both far too talented to let that be the case. The match still revolved around Akki and Hagane, but when they were called upon, they more than held their own.
It was all a perfect build-up for their title match at Mei’s Anniversary show which you can find my review of here! Gosh, it’s almost like we plan these things.
Best Bros’ (Mei Suruga & Baliyan Akki) Birthday Gauntlet, ChocoPro #313 (30/5/23), Gatoh Move
To celebrate Mei Suruga and Baliyan Akki’s birthday (which happens to be on the same day), ChocoPro set them up with a lovely little gauntlet featuring some of their closest friends and enemies. It’s an unusual gift, but they did also give them a cake (made by Chie).
It was a format that set up two of my favourite elements of Gatoh Move: chaos and Best Bros eating shit. The first one is obvious, and I’ve talked about it plenty of times before, but the second is perhaps a bit more surprising. I love Akki and Mei. They’re both brilliant wrestlers and seem like lovely people. However, when you pair them up, they know how good they are, and it’s quietly made them one of the best heel pairings around. It’s not just Mei’s love of biting everyone (although that doesn’t help), but that they carry themselves like they know they’re going to win, so seeing them have to struggle through gruelling match after gruelling match was a genuine delight.
Plus, as I said, it allows Gatoh Move to unleash all the madness. Particular credit has to go to Kaori Yoneyama and Minoru Fujita, two experienced veterans who spent their entire section charging around like over-excited rookies, bickering and unsure of what to do. It took them until after the time limit had expired to realise that it might make more sense for the hulking Fujita to do the lifting part of their finisher rather than the somewhat smaller Yone. Then, of course, there was Black Comaneci, taking on the role of Best Comaneci and, for the first time, providing an actual UFO to distract Referee Kiso. They then used that time to attack Best Bros with a pair of rubber chickens, which sounds like a winning strategy to me.
On top of all that, for all that I bemoan Mei and Akki’s arrogance, they were brilliant here. Whether engaging in a serious battle with Egg Tarts or being terrorised by Honda and Otoki, they adapt to their opponents, slotting seamlessly into the role required of them, and that’s a hell of a skill. There aren’t many pairings better than them, and while I would have quite liked it if they’d given up at least one fall in this match, they put in a hell of a shift. I don’t know if it was a fun birthday for them, but it certainly was for the rest of us.
Egg Tarts (Shinnou Hagane & Chie Koishikawa) vs Shota & Miya Yotsuba, ChocoPro #314 (4/6/23), Gatoh Move
Miya Yotsuba and Shinnou Hagane had one hell of a lock-up at the start of this match. It was close to a two-person scrum as they got right down, lowering their centres of gravity to put everything into their attempts to shift each other. In a world with a million lock-ups that feel half-arsed, they used the most basic of wrestling moves to establish the idea that there is something about Miya that gives her an edge over Hagane. The rest of the match then followed up on it, Yotsuba continually managing to match the champ in a way that a rookie less than a year into her career should not be able to do. It ruled.
The other big story coming out of this was Chie, who, despite spending the early goings being continually drawn in by Shota in a way that meant she kept comically hurting Hagane, picked up an impressive win. It was the latest in a long line of good showings from Chie, who I’ve been yelling about at every opportunity, and it appears Shinnou agrees. In the aftermath, he asked her to be the next challenger for his title. Not only was that a lovely wee moment where Hagane challenged his partner to step up and become his equal, but it is 100% deserved. Chie has quietly (well, not that quietly) been the Gatoh Move MVP in 2023, and I can’t wait to see her have a big main event against someone who she has fantastic chemistry with. I can’t imagine she’ll win, but hey, crazier things have happened.
All of ChocoPro’s shows are available on their YouTube channel.