Ice Ribbon #1267 (19/3/23) Review
A Rough Week Ends At Korakuen Hall
Front Matter
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The last week has been the latest in a long series of rough ones for Ice Ribbon. Whenever the company appears to be settling down and getting back on track, something else exposes how broken things truly are. Asahi and Nao Ishikawa’s exits (plus the subsequent Twitch stream from Yappy) have touched on issues that make the wrestling itself feel irrelevant, as it’s increasingly clear this company needs to sort its shit out. You can worry about attendance numbers and the dwindling number of big shows all you want, but when people as joyous as Nao and Asahi are having their love of wrestling ripped away, then the problems are so much bigger. In saying all that, the show did go on, and just a few days after the bombs had been dropped, the Ice Ribbon roster made their way to Korakuen. How would they react? Let’s find out.
Hikari Shimizu & Kaho Matsushita defeated Nao Ishikawa & Rina Amikura
With Nao Ishikawa calling out Ice Ribbon management in the press conference that announced her departure, I was a bit nervous about how this match would go down. It might not have been her final appearance, but it was the last Korakuen, and I didn’t know how the company and fans would react to what she said. Thankfully, I needn’t have worried. Before the match started, those in attendance loudly made it known that she still had their hearts. Plus, while she would take the pin, she had plenty of time to shine, including Misa Kagura nipping in for a full KISSmeT Princess reunion (the dissolution of which was a big part of her anger).
Once my nerves settled, this was a fun opener. There is some strong chemistry between various parts of these teams, and the pairing of Kaho and Shimizu is satisfyingly kicky. You could also sense that everyone was fired up to work with Ishikawa for possibly the last time, her final stretch with Kaho getting increasingly emotional as they traded blows. They went all out, perhaps overindulging for an opening tag, but you’d be a dick to hold that against them, and they were good enough to get away with it.
There is probably an argument to be made that if you didn’t know about the outside circumstances, you’d view this as a fairly straightforward opener, but those circumstances are a pretty big part of the match, so it’s impossible to ignore them. As they all shared hugs afterwards, taking a bow, you didn’t have to be a genius to figure out that it meant a lot to them, and when it means a lot to them, it tends to end up meaning a lot to me too.
Verdict: A Good Match With An Emotional Kick
Tsuki Umino defeated Amu Yumesaki
It would be easy to respond to the Asahi and Nao situation with the assumption that everything about Ice Ribbon is awful. When you hear about bad things happening to seemingly nice people, you want to lash out, but the change in Tsuki Umino since she joined the company has been incredible. The wrestler that looked awkward and unsure of herself in WAVE could never have come out and put a rookie through their paces the way she did here, tying Amu up in the ropes to mock her before hammering away with strikes. One has to assume that her environment has played a big part in that.
She wasn’t alone in impressing either, as Amu Yumesaki shone on her debut. Coming from an idol background, she looked comfortable in the ring, and it didn’t take long for her to respond to a break in the ropes by bashing away at Umino’s chest with hard forearm shots. Even more impressively, those forearms sounded better than many thrown by people significantly deeper into her careers, as she and Umino put some pep behind their strikes. It was the little touches that stood out most, though. The desperation she showed throughout and the moment towards the end where she reached out to grab Tsuki’s hair and keep fighting, only to stumble, her body unable to keep up with what she wanted it to do.
After the relatively barren years of the pandemic, it feels like we’re being flooded with rookies, and judging by this, Amu Yumesaki has the potential to be right up there among the current crop. No debut is perfect, and this one certainly wasn’t the exception, but there was great potential, and I’m intrigued to see where it goes. Plus, as I always say, if you don’t drop someone on their head or hide under the ring crying, then you’ve done well. Amu did that and more.
Verdict: The Kid Did Good!
Aiger defeated Yappy, Kiku, Saran, YuuRI, Momo Tani, Yura Susuki and HisokA in a battle royal
Before we get into the match, I want to point out that, in this house, we love and respect Yappy.
Here’s the deal, battle royals are not conducive to great wrestling. They have too many people and too little time, so any attempt to construct a ‘great’ match will inevitably fall flat. What they can be is a load of fun. The best battle royals are chaotic clusterfucks driven as much by character as they are any in-ring skill, and that’s what this did well.
And a big part of that was Aiger and everyone else’s responses to her. Her presence left the rest free to do their best Scooby Doo act, running around screaming and waving their arms in the air (Yappy was particularly good at this). It’s a bit we’ve seen a million times before, but that’s because it works. She’s fantastic at playing that part-terrifying, part-ridiculous spook, and there are loads of laughs to be gleaned from it. Besides, who doesn’t want to see wee Saran fight a ghost? That’s my ideal match.
As is usually the case with this style of wrestling, the people who aren’t going to enjoy it already know that’s the case, so it’s their fault if they watch it. If (like the best people in the world) watching Aiger run riot makes you happy, then you’ll have a blast.
Verdict: A Lot Of Fun
Misa Kagura & Sumika Yanagawa defeated Sunshine Hallelujah (Asahi & Chie Ozora)
Much like the opener, it’s impossible to talk about this match without acknowledging the circumstances surrounding it. Asahi’s departure from Ice Ribbon is being sold as a loan move, but it doesn’t feel like they’re sending a youth player out to get a bit of experience. It’s a full-blown, fallen out with the manager, and unless something changes while I’m gone, I won’t be back kind of loan. So while this wasn’t Asahi’s last appearance for Ice Ribbon, it was the beginning of the end, and that emotion ran through the whole thing.
With all that in mind, I think Asahi deserves credit for how she handled the situation. Like Nao, it became clear that no one in that room was holding it against her (or if they were, they weren’t letting anyone know), but she still had to go out and perform for a company that she clearly has very complex emotions towards, and she behaved like a total pro. Not only did she go out on a defeat, but she was great all match, continuing her and Chie’s development as a cracking wee team (one of the many things that I’ll miss when she enters the closed-off world of AWG). You worry that situations like this will see wrestlers unfairly branded as ‘difficult’, but if you hadn’t known about the situation coming in, I don’t think you’d have picked up that there was anything out of the ordinary with her performance.
To focus at least a tad on the actual wrestling, I do want to throw some praise towards Sumika and Misa. I think I’ve slept on those two, but they’ve become impressive young wrestlers, with Misa particularly standing out. Kagura’s got an infectious energy, which, combined with her hoss potential, makes her a tonne of fun to watch. She’s not quite at the stage of her career where she’s bulldozing through people, but she will get there, and I like the pairing of her and the more refined, controlled Yanagawa. With the Ice Ribbon roster getting ever-thinner, they’ll be relying on freelancers to pack it out, and those two seem a solid bet to focus on going forward.
Ultimately, the action in this match will come second to the story around it, but that shouldn’t take away from it being an impressive showing. These four have bright futures, and while it appears they won’t be living them together, it’s nice that we got to see them all wrestle at this stage of their career.
Verdict: More Hoss Misa, Please
Makoto & Hamuko Hoshi defeated Hikaru Shida & Ibuki Hoshi to win the International Ribbon Tag Titles
At Ribbonmania, Ibuki Hoshi and Hikaru Shida successfully defended the tag titles, but that apparently wasn’t enough for Shida. Despite Ibuki being the one to get the winning pinfall, she went full Sir Alex Ferguson after the 1983 Scottish Cup Final, chewing Ibuki out and demanding she not lose a singles match before this defence, or Shida would forfeit the belt. At the time, it all felt a tad strange (Ibuki had been fantastic in that match), but it worked if you assumed it was part of an attempt to elevate Ibuki. It’s weird then that the end of the story was her taking a clean pinfall to her mum, a result that kind of suggests Shida was right. I typically try to avoid whining about booking, but eh?
And I get wanting to put the titles on Makoto and Ham, even if they’re not the most exciting choice. Shida is jetting back and forth between Japan and America, so they can only get her for a handful of shows a year. Plus, having the belts on two experienced (and popular) wrestlers is probably not a bad thing at a time when the roster is somewhat lacking star power. It just feels like there should have been more to the end of Shida and Ibuki. But who knows, maybe that’s still to come.
Anyway, the match itself was pretty good. I thought the early structure was a bit off, as Shida and Ibuki controlled a bit too much of the action, getting to the point where it felt like they should probably be looking to put Ham and Makoto away, but it heated up as it went along. Makoto and Shida are a reliably good pairing, and it’s always fun to watch the the Hoshis fight, their closing stretch drawing the fans into the action as they went back and forth. I know I said that Makoto and Hamuko aren’t the most exciting choice, but they are tag-team experts, and that shone in the way the match built.
I’ve argued in the past for taking the slow road with elevating younger wrestlers, and I generally do favour that route, but as Ice Ribbon bounces from hiccup to hiccup, it feels like they’re going to have to put more trust in these kids. Ibuki is ready to be more than number two to a part-time wrestler in a tag team, and I hope it turns out that this title swap was done so she could realise that potential rather than hold it off for a while longer.
Verdict: Good Match, Some Iffy Other Stuff
Misa and Yanagawa came out to challenge for the tag titles afterwards, which makes it look like I was deliberately foreshadowing that earlier in this review, but I had no idea it was coming. Regardless, it’s a cool decision, and I look forward to seeing what they do in that spot.
Totoro Satsuki defeated Saori Anou to win the ICExInfinity Title
I hate the way most wrestling fans talks about botches. You often see matches diminished because of a momentary mistake - as if two athletes who are supposedly engaging in combat not being silky smooth is somehow the part that will take you out of the action. Sure, some botches do exactly that, but when it’s a move not being executed perfectly or someone slipping, I often find it does the opposite. Take this match, for example, where Totoro and Anou lost their balance on the top rope, sending them both crashing down to the floor. It was an undeniably shocking moment, as the fall looked awful, but once it was clear that they were both okay, it elevated the whole thing.
Because while the initial fall stunned the crowd into silence, Anou rising to her feet and literally laughing it off woke everyone up. It reminded me of being in the home stand of a football stadium and watching your team concede a goal. Usually, it’s followed by a moment of shocked silence, but (as long as it’s not the 4th or 5th to hit the net) there’s always someone who eventually pipes up, yelling the players on and inspiring everyone to go again. Totoro and Anou’s misfortune galvanised everyone in that room into wanting to see them succeed. Before that, the action had been solid, but now they were battling back from something that could have easily ended the match, and the combination of relief and excitement ramped everything up.
It also played nicely into the story of the match, as Anou tried to use her crafty ways to negate Totoro’s power. Having your hoss bounce off the apron on the way to the floor is probably not the safest way to go about doing that, but if it happens, you might as well take advantage of it, and it was a nice setup for her trying to wear Satsuki down with holds. Of course, it wasn’t to be, but when the switch flicked and Totoro unleashed her power, Anou bumped her arse off for her, crumpling up after every lariat. It was as selfless a performance as you’ll see, as she did everything she could to make sure the new champ looked like a beast.
And honestly, Totoro would not have been my choice to dethrone Anou. Even with Asahi gone, I think she’d be at best 3rd in my ranking, but the more I think about it, the more I like it. She has stepped up in the last year or so, improving massively, and she sits in a cool spot of being a powerhouse who will lariat you out of your boots while also coming across as an unbeatable champ. I could buy her winning or losing against most of the roster, which is a fun position for her to occupy. Time will tell if it’s also something that gets people interested, but as Ice Ribbon start yet another new era, I am intrigued to see how she does.
Verdict: Botches Can Be Effective
Overall Show
I’m still not sure how I feel about Ice Ribbon. There are a lot of wrestlers on that roster who I have affection for, and I want them to succeed, but I’m also worried that they’ll have their love for wrestling stripped away from them. The truth is that we can never truly know what is going on behind the scenes of any wrestling company (particularly in Japan, where language barriers and secretiveness make it incredibly hard to figure out some of the stuff they want us to know), but we now know enough that the trust is damaged. This show was good, but it wasn’t (and probably never could have been) enough to mend those bridges. If Ice Ribbon wants to do that, they’ve got a lot of work ahead of them, and I think, as fans, it’s up to each of us individually to decide if we’re willing to give them that time.