TJPW Grand Princess '23 (18/3/23) Review
The Big One
Front Matter
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TJPW are making something of a habit of putting on their biggest show ever. The last few years have seen them consistently ramp up the size of the venues, and it’s laid the path to Ariake Colisseum for Grand Princess ‘23. On paper, this card is everything you could want: debuting wrestlers, giant pandas and tag teams colliding. Could it live up to those expectations? Let’s find out.
New Up Up Girls’ song alert. Shining Mark is an upbeat wee number, with loads of fist-pumping and a bit where they rap! Can you imagine being the songwriter who came up with the idea of getting the Up Up Girls to rap? That motherfucker should be able to retire off that alone. I don’t think I’m ready to have it replace Upper Kick in my affections, but I’ll need a few more listens before I definitively decide where it sits in their extensive canon. We were also treated to Upper Kick afterwards, so we got the best of both worlds.
Suzume defeated Arisu Endo
Daisy Monkey opening TJPW’s biggest-ever show feels right. Arisu Endo and Suzume (individually and as a team) are the future of this company, and there is every chance that one day this showdown will headline a venue the size of Ariake. In the here and now, they’re two hungry young wrestlers desperate to prove how good they are, and that’s a great beat on which to kick things off.
Coming in, Suzume expressed the worry that Endo was catching up with her. Having finally got the weight of earning her first win off her back, Arisu had picked up a bit of confidence and started to put together something of a run. You never got the impression that Suzume begrudged her that success (if anything, it was the opposite), but as the senior member of Daisy Monkey, she wasn’t about to sit back and let her pal overtake her. Dressed in her new cyberpunk-inspired gear, she entered this match with a seriousness that we rarely see from the bee, focusing her attack on Endo’s knee and looking to assert her dominance.
Despite that, Endo pushed her mighty close. While Suzume tried to control the action through her limb work, Arisu was a more explosive presence, going big at every opportunity. That led to a fantastic Camel Clutch spot, where her wrenching back on Suzume gave her no choice but to throw herself face-first at the ropes to escape. However, that same explosiveness proved her downfall, as an attempt to drive her knee into the back of Suzume’s head from the second rope backfired when she got thrown onto that injured limb. In the key moments of the match, Suzume had the edge, which was enough for her to keep her Daisy Monkey pal at arm’s length for at least a while longer.
It made for a cracking match and a near-perfect opener. Suzume and Arisu kept the action tight and fast with a clear throughline, as Suzume’s limb work proved decisive. Whether they ever headline rooms this big is up in the air, but they’ve proven that they’re more than capable of putting on a banger of a match when the opportunity presents itself.
Verdict: A Cracking Start
Mahiro Kiryu, HIMAWARI, Wakana Uehara & Shino Suzuki defeated Kaya Toribami, Toga, Runa Okubo & Haru Kazeshiro
The kids are taking over! It says a lot about this tag that Wakana and HIMAWARI were two of the more experienced wrestlers involved. Not only did we have Shino and Toga (who have a mighty one match each), but it was the debut of Runa Okubo and Haru Kazeshiro, the latest rookies to emerge from the TJPW production line. They’re both sickeningly young, so don’t look up their ages unless you want to feel old.
And with TJPW having been on a bit of a roll with their rookies, this was a reminder that, for most people, it takes a while to find your feet in a wrestling ring. Entering together, Okuba looked confident and Kazeshiro nervous, but once the action started, they were both somewhat timid. However, as literal children making their debuts in a massive arena, I think that’s understandable, and they had a couple of nice moments (Kazeshiro hit a cool crossbody). As I always say, if you can get through your debut without dropping someone on their head or hiding under the ring and crying, you can leave with your head held high.
The standout moment of the match, though, was Toga rocking Mahiro with an elbow. She’s already showing a talent for laying into people, which is a decent skill to have, and she knocked Mahiro loopy. Throw in another solid showing from HIMAWARI, Shino and Wakana, plus a rare example of ring-general Kiryu (who, along with Kaya, joined the new gear club), and this was a solid wee match. It was never going to be the best thing on the card, and it definitely wasn’t, but it was a glimpse of the future, and on the whole, that future’s bright.
Verdict: The Kids Are Alright
Free WiFi (Hikari Noa & Nao Kakuta) & Ram Kaichow defeated Yuki Aino, Raku & Pom Harajuku
At Grand Princess ‘22, Raku and Ram unveiled their marriage to the world. For ‘23, they aired their dirty laundry in front of it. It’s safe to say that Ram hasn’t treated her god-wife right over the last year, getting up to all sorts of philandering, and Raku showed her displeasure by turning her back on her and sending her to sleep with one of her magical lullabies. You know, the usual ways to deal with an argument.
The tone for this match was set before that, as Pom started things off by doing some forward rolls, pulling a karate pose, deciding that was a job well done and tagging out. However, the emotional core was undeniably Raku and Ram. For the bulk of the action, Ram couldn’t bring herself to fight her wife, which was in stark contrast to her Free WiFi partners who, at one point, were biting Raku’s hair. It was only right at the end that they finally came to blows, Raku delivering a swift Brain Chop only for Ram to fire straight back with a Rammaker. It was heartbreaking to see, but one can only hope those crazy kids figure something out and remember why they fell in love in the first place.
Outside of that, there was a sense that everyone else was a particularly elaborate third wheel, but there was some solid action. Yuki Aino has had a major gear shift (it looks cool), and she celebrated with a strong showing against Nao. Hikari, meanwhile, had a frantic back and forth with Pom, their very different energies merging nicely. It all made for a classic Pom and Raku midcard affair, with a decent match and some enjoyable/heartbreaking nonsense to elevate it further. Let’s hope we can now get Raku and Ram in a room and sort out their issues, but I worry it will be too little, too late.
Verdict: I Still Believe In Love
Ryo Mizunami defeated Moka Miyamoto
Since debuting in TJPW as a replacement for Willow Nightingale, Ryo ‘Aniki’ Mizunami has become something of a hired midcard gatekeeper. So far, she’s wrestled Miu Watanabe and Suzume, two people Koda clearly has big plans for. Up next, Moka Miyamoto, who can take heart in being the latest name paired up with Aniki, even if it meant having to fight someone famous for their love of fun and, more worryingly for her, their physical style.
Miyamoto never stood a chance in this match, but it was all about how she reacted to being in there with someone bigger and stronger than her. From the bell, Aniki took control, grinding Miyamoto into the mat and overpowering her at every turn. Even when Moka was on top, locking in a Cobra Twist, Mizunami was able to get back to her feet and toss her away with ease. Importantly, though, Moka never stopped fighting, as we even saw a hint of anger in her eyes. Miyamoto is typically a very controlled wrestler, but Aniki drew that emotion out of her, which is what she was there for. While It wasn’t enough to push her through to a massive upset, it kept her getting up, throwing increasingly weaker strikes, but refusing to go down without a fight.
This match was another example of TJPW’s fantastic use of outsiders. They’ve found a role where Aniki excels, and an opportunity to wrestle her on such a big stage is important for Miyamoto. I don’t think it quite reached the heights of Mizunami vs Miu, but Moka still stepped up to the occasion, putting on the kind of performance that a young wrestler can build on. Even in defeat, she can still walk out of there with her head held high.
Verdict: Moka Did Well
Kyoraku Kyomei (Shoko Nakajima & Hyper Misao) defeated Andreza the Giant Panda & Haruna Neko
Giant panda + wee cat = genius booking.
As Hyper Misao rode a bike into Andreza the Giant Panda and Shoko Nakajima followed up by stabbing him in the arse with a lightsaber, this match began to take on the qualities of a film that you would watch at two in the morning after coming in from a night out. The kind that you only half remember as a wild fever dream and years later spend an hour or so Googling keywords from, desperately trying to figure out what it was. You’d think searching ‘giant panda’, ‘lightsaber’ and ‘film’ could only return one thing, but somehow it doesn’t work, as such a wonderful piece of art is destined to be lost to that moment in time.
And I appreciate that this kind of match isn’t for everyone, but it opened with Misao beating a cat with a sign while Shoko lined up to fire a rocket launcher at a giant panda, and if you don’t think that’s amazing, you’re wrong. At one point, the camera turned to the panda clapping on Neko from the apron! How can you not love that? Misao and Shoko understand that if you engage in this kind of nonsense, there is no point half-arsing it, and they were fully committed to murdering Andreza. They weren’t entirely successful and had to settle for tieing him down before beating the much more manageable wee cat, but I still adore that they tried.
Was this traditionally great wrestling? Yes, it was.
Verdict: Kyoraku Kyomei Remain Undefeated In My Heart
Neo Biishiki-gun (Sakisama & Mei Saint-Michel) defeated Yuki Kamifuku & Billie Starkz
After a year away, the aristocracy returns, ready to make everyone’s lives harder again. It didn’t take long for Mei Saint-Michel to throw her first wobbly, seemingly getting annoyed at Billie and Kamiyu having the temerity to be taller than her. I know Sakisama found her in the woods, but she’s quickly got used to the aristocratic idea that no one should do anything to displease her.
The big thing I wanted coming into this match was to see Sakisama and Kamiyu boot each other in the face, a wish they duly granted. It’s something they both excel at, and watching them tee off was everything I hoped it would be, as they showed no inclination to hold back. Even they were somewhat overshadowed by Billie Starks launching herself from the top to the floor with only wee Mei to catch her, though, hitting the ground with a hell of a thump. She did hit Saint-Michel, but it’s safe to say she probably could have used someone a little bigger to break her fall.
There was an extent to which this was a classic Bii-gun match, complete with tray antics and roses, but after a year without one, that was all we needed. It was a strong way to reintroduce them, and while beheading the aristocracy is generally recommended, life is more interesting when Sakisama is around.
Verdict: Bii-gun Returns With A Flourish
Aja Kong defeated Yuki Arai
If Moka Miyamoto went into her match with Ryo Mizunami looking to impress in near-certain defeat, then Yuki Arai faced Aja Kong with the ambition of surviving. It’s one thing to stand across the ring from the legend in a tag, but it’s a whole other thing to be in there one-on-one, with nothing to separate you from one of the most feared wrestlers of all time. Aja might not be as young as she once was, but she’ll still fuck you up.
And yet, there was a moment in this match where Arai had Aja on the ropes. It barely seemed possible, especially after the opening minutes in which Kong was almost toying with Yuki, eating up her offence with a contemptuous sneer, but Arai shook her. It all started with a Finally while perched on the turnbuckle, cracking her foot down on Aja’s head, and from there, Arai did not let up. She dropped boot after boot, forcing Kong to use a rope break to escape a pin, earning a nineteen count on the outside and kicking out of the Backdrop Driver to keep the fight going. The longer she survived, and the more times she booted Aja in the head, the more that the impossible seemed possible. You wanted to believe that Arai could pull this out of the bag.
Of course, it wasn’t to be, but the fact that I dared to even think it could be says a hell of a lot. Aja Kong made Arai look like a star, and even after the bell had rung, she was holding her head in pain. There aren’t many seals of approval with more weight than that, and as Arai lay on the outside, Aja approached, making it clear she wanted to do this again. If Aja Kong is asking to wrestle you, then you’re doing something right, and if Yuki Arai wasn’t already a made name, she is now.
Verdict: The Blessing of Aja Kong has been Bestowed
Rika Tatsumi defeated Miu Watanabe to win the International Princess Titles
Miu Watanabe did so many things right in this match. Right from the start, she put Rika on the back foot, unleashing that incredible strength to rock with her with a shoulder block. Rika may be the more experienced member of their team, but Miu made it clear that if she thought she was in for an easy ride, she had another thing coming. Time after time, Watanabe fell back on that power to do astonishing things, be it somehow muscling out of a Dragon Sleeper into a Giant Swing or throwing Rika with a Super Teardrop. It was perhaps the best performance of her career, and I say that as someone who had her vs Yuka as my favourite match of 2022.
And yet, she didn’t win. Not because she did anything wrong but because Rika has tricks that Miu hasn’t yet dreamed of. After that initial scare, Tatsumi began to execute her plan, attacking the leg and taking away Watanabe’s base. Perhaps even more importantly, though, she started to unleash all those little moments of evil she excels at. Whether it was hiding outside the ring to catch Miu off-guard, dragging her up the ramp to beat her with Misao and Shoko’s sign or countering the first attempt at the Swing by throttling one of her closest friends, Tatsumi’s dark arts were on full display. And while Miu is strong enough to throw you through a wall, that stuff isn’t in her nature. It’s what makes her and Rika such a brilliant team, Miu is the muscle, and Rika is the evil.
As the match went on, those two conflicting elements bounced off each other, momentum swinging wildly, and there were moments where I was convinced both had the win. However, when push came to shove, Miu lacked that killer instinct. After hitting the Super Teardrop, she didn’t go for the pin, feeling the need to go that one step further, which was her final mistake. Rika knew she’d survived by the skin of her teeth and roared back harder, eventually clamping on the Dragon Sleeper to set up a thrilling final few seconds where Watanabe gave everything she had to get to the ropes, refusing to die, but Tatsumi just wouldn’t let her. Every time she dragged her back, the hold went on that little bit deeper, and eventually, there was nothing Miu could do but tap, her title slipping away as she did so.
As gutting as Miu losing that belt is, this performance will live longer than any title reign. Watanabe has been going from strength to strength, but this was another huge leap forward and a timely reminder that Tatsumi is one of the great big-match wrestlers. These two close friends put together something special, and the other title matches suddenly had a mighty high bar to clear.
Verdict: Outstanding
121000000 (Miyu Yamashita & Maki Itoh) defeated Wasteland War Party (Heidi Howitzer & Max The Impaler) to win the Princess Tag Titles
The story of this match was established when Miyu Yamashita first kicked Max the Impaler. Blows that have levelled the entire TJPW roster bounced off Max like a gentle breeze, barely making a dent. If 121000000 wanted to take those belts home, they couldn’t rely on the classics. On top of that, they repeatedly made the mistake of taking too long to strike. Whether it be their elaborate headbutt routine, their decision to focus on firing each other up, or Itoh pausing before going for the Itoh Special, they kept missing their opportunity.
And I think that’s a big part of why this match didn’t work for me. By the end, I didn’t feel like Itoh and Miyu had earnt their victory. They were coming up against a pairing that has been built as basically indestructible, and if they were going to win the belts, they needed to play a perfect game. Instead, we saw them repeatedly slip up, failing to capitalise, and every part of me was waiting for that to be their downfall, allowing Max and Heidi to bulldoze their way through them. I had already accepted that this was setting up Miyu’s tour of America, letting her go away, improve and return to overcome the odds.
I was wrong, though, and instead, those odds were shattered within the course of one match, Miyu finally breaking through Max’s defences and taking them off their feet with a slightly misaimed kick. That left Itoh open to get the win with a Flying Headbutt, and it all fell a bit flat for me. They’d climbed the mountain, but it felt like they’d jumped on a ski lift for the last half of the journey. I’m not going as far as calling this a bad match, there was too much talent there for that to be the case, but it didn’t come together in a way that made sense. While 121000000 will be great champions, and I assume they’ll defend those belts overseas, the start of their title reign was a bit of a damp squib.
Verdict: It Didn’t Click
Mizuki defeated Yuka Sakazaki to win the Princess of Princess Title
Yuka Sakazaki and Mizuki are incapable of wrestling without getting emotional. They could face off in a million main events, and they’d still be standing across the ring from each other with tears in their eyes, acting like it was their worst nightmare. It’s how they are and a big part of what makes their matches so special. Unfortunately, this time, those emotions also led to Yuka initially refusing to fight, a decision that I thought was a bit silly. It wasn’t quite staring at your hands and asking ‘how can I be so violent’, but it was heading towards similar levels of melodrama. We know that they love each other, and there are subtler ways than that to feed it into the story.
Thankfully, Mizuki eventually snapped Yuka out of her nonsense, and when she did, this quickly got good. Sakazaki’s recent matches have revolved around her ability to bully everyone she faces, which was no different here, as she rough-handled Mizuki. In turn, we got Mizuki at her sympathetic best, struggling to find any headway as Yuka broke her down. It was only when Sakazaki got a bit too cocky and let her desire to get it over with quickly influence her that Mizuki found an opening. Yuka went for the Magical Girl Splash too soon, which was the slither of hope she needed.
And when Mizuki got that hope, she threw everything at it, leaping from the top rope to the floor with a double stomp as she fought to turn the tide. For all that I praised Yuka’s bullying ways, Mizuki shone brighter in this match, putting on as pure a display of battling babyface brilliance as you are likely to see. Every second felt like she was pulling herself through a brick wall, and unlike her previous title challenges, Sakazaki couldn’t find a way to stop her. She hit brainbusters on the floor, a vomit-inducing Magical Merry-Go-Round and countless thudding blows, but Mizuki kept coming. She battled through the pain and found what she needed to win.
It left us with a match that, at its best, was astonishingly good and, at its worst, was a bit frustrating. There was a degree of Mizuki and Yuka overthinking this, feeling the need to spell out ideas that were already ingrained into the story, but ultimately it didn’t hurt it too badly. These two are too good to let such things get in the way of them putting on an incredible, emotional main event. Plus, this time, it ended with a new champ, and Mizuki getting her hands on a belt that she 100% deserves. I’m very excited to see what she does with it.
Verdict: Flawed, But Ultimately Brilliant
Overall Show
I love big TJPW shows. Even when there are matches that don’t deliver, they do an incredible job of crafting a card that hits every one of my buttons. Grand Princess ‘23 probably won’t go down as their best, but it had Shoko and Misao battling a giant panda and a match between Rika and Miu that might be my new favourite of the year, so it was pretty damn incredible. It felt like as pure a distillation of what this company is as we’ve ever seen. A perfectly balanced collection of ideas that seem at odds but come together to create a beautiful misfit family that I can’t help but love. Their next biggest show ever has a lot to live up to.
Watch Tokyo Joshi Pro: https://www.wrestle-universe.com/en/videos?labels=-tjpw.